Shadows

shadow, originally uploaded by .tyler..

Sometimes you take a picture of yourself.
When you take it you might not have a special idea in your mind, you just get close to the window or to any light source you might find suitable at that moment. Probably you watch into the lens and wait for the click.
You might experience a little pressure in your eyes so you may close them a bit. You try to focus a point that seams on the camera but feels in your head. Your mouth is maybe still, but full of tension.

Only when it's time for the lightroom work you start noticing some feelings. You experience them stronger now than during the shot. It's hinting you to something but it's not clear. You want to know more.

Then other people watch it. They see every kind of things in that face, but some of these ideas come back more often than others and you recognize them because they hit to the heart. You feel naked.

The shadows shrink a bit, the highlights turn into details. A wrinkle shows and expression. An expression screams pain.

Why do we need to speak?

Three of a perfect pair

Three of a perfect pair, originally uploaded by .tyler..

I remember being so little was exciting. Everything was real. It's strange to pronounce this sentence as it sounds tautological, but you know what I mean when you consider how much our consciousness develops with our aging.
This is good as it allows us for a better understanding of our world, theoretically brings us to survivor.
On the other side this is bringing us everyday to a higher level of abstraction, thus less real.
The magic goes away when you're not a child. This is the common sentence. But I have the same feeling everyday. I believe this is not a process that ends when you turn into an adult. More precisely, I believe there's nothing like "turning into an adult". It's an always developing process. Everyday you're always more an adult than the day before. If you're lucky. You will always feel childish considering your past, even when you're 60 and you'll think about your feelings, ideals, ideas when you were 50. But I don't mean a bad attitude of judgement towards ourselves. You just consider yourself like missing something compared to now.
But can we get more adult without loosing our childhood?
There are theories about personality that state that each human being needs 3 personalities to be considered healthy: child, adult and parent. You need all of them and you need to reach them in the order I wrote them.
Thanks to photography I discover myself looking at common things with the eyes and expressions of these two kids.
For this I'll always be thankful to my camera.